Bro. Albert Farley's article, "Do Not Sin
Against the Child" in the June 2005 issue of The West
Virginia Christian, was superb and provocative of much
thought. It reminded me of something I have often said when preaching
on the family: "Little shoulders often carry big burdens."
Our precious children are often saddled with burdens no one should
have to carry. They would not have such burdens if we would only
listen to and apply God's word.
Little children often carry the big burden of
favoritism from one or both parents. If you study the life of
Joseph, you know what a difficult situation favoritism presents.
It is a burden to the one favored. It is a burden to the one(s)
not favored. I know adults who are permanently scarred by this
dreadful burden. The child who grows up constantly hearing that
he or she can't do something as well as another will probably
have emotional problems for life. I understand the difficulty
of not having favorites, but please don't make your children carry
such a burden.
Little children often carry the big burden of
divorced parents. It is not unusual, in areas like Martinsburg,
for children who come from solid, stable homes to be a decided
minority. The sad thing here is that children of divorced parents
often blame themselves for their parent's divorce. "If only
I had behaved better." "If only I had done something
different." "If only I, if only I, if only I."
What an awful burden to place on the shoulders of children. The
best way to avoid this is to make sure your marriage is strong.
God does not look approvingly upon the tragic divorce scene in
America today. It has reached the place where one out of two marriages
ends in divorce, and many of these divorcing men and women are
parents. Those children who are involved are often frightened
and confused by the fact that their world is crumbling around
them. This awful sin has found its way into the midst of God's
people. May God have mercy!
Little children often carry the big problem of
abuse. Sometime in the sixties we found what was called the Battered
Child Syndrome. In today's society, one in four girls is sexually
abused, and we are becoming more and more aware of the sexual
abuse of boys. There are ways to abuse children other than sexual.
The abuse may take the form of neglect, physical beating (not
talking about physical discipline, for not all physical discipline
is abuse), and emotional abuse. Children who are abused are afraid
to tell anyone because they are afraid of the abuser. There are
several fruits of abuse evident in our society, such as serious
mental and physical health issues, alcoholism, suicide, drug abuse,
delinquency, violent and criminal behavior, and severe social
difficulty. One of the most hard to understand results of child
abuse is the fact that the abused become abusers. You would be
doing a great work for God if you would make sure abuse is never
a part of your home atmosphere.
Little children often endure the burden of permissiveness.
A permissive parent is a parent who establishes no rules and no
consistency when it comes to punishment. Such parents have children
who are confused by not knowing what the rules are. The home atmosphere
is also one of chaos since the children are in charge rather than
the parents. Children are not equipped for such responsibility.
Do your children a favor - i.e. you be the parent and let
them be the children.
Little children often bear the burden of overly
strict parents. Here the children are severely disciplined for
every infraction. They are never allowed to say or ask questions
that would make it appear that they are questioning the authority
of their parents. These children are actually afraid of their
own parents. If they misbehave, they hope with all their might
that their parents do not find out. If they get a bad grade, they
will hide it. I have a dear friend who used to say that if you
tie a dog on too short of a rope it will really go wild if it
gets loose. This often is what happens in this situation. At the
first taste of freedom the child goes wild. The wildness is most
often a rebellion against over strictness.
It is true. Little shoulders often carry big burdens,
even more than we've mentioned here. We encourage you to make
things different in your home. A friend used to loan me a book
and say, "Now, just treat it as if it were mine." I
encourage you to consider your children as gifts from God, and
treat them as if they belong to Him. The fact is, they do. -90
Waverly Cr., Martinsburg, WV 25401.