"Into each life some rain must fall, some
days must be dark and dreary." So read the last two lines
of The Rainy Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Mr. Longfellow
certainly captured the way life often is, did he not? Many times
the rain comes in the form of a veritable cloudburst accompanied
with lightning and loud claps of thunder.
When such storms come into our lives, we become
fearful. When we survey the damage after the storm has passed,
we grieve. It seems as if we all get more than our fair share
of time grieving. Our grief is compounded by the number of times
we are asked how we are doing by people who do not care enough
to listen carefully to our answer. Many of them respond with trite
answers that leave us feeling worse, like: 1) "I know how
you feel." The truth is they do not. 2) "I know what
you are going through." How could they, unless they are going
through the same thing? 3) "Why don't you get your mind on
something else?" What they do not understand is that to me
this thing is big. I cannot possibly get it off my mind until
I have had enough time to work through it.
Grief really is a part of life, is it not? You
can grieve over many things, in addition to the loss of someone
precious to you. The list is almost endless, including: loss of
health, death of a favorite pet, loss of mobility, giving up a
home, a failing memory, becoming a crime victim, having an accident,
loss of a job.
Do not let anyone discourage you because you grieve
over any of these things. Your reaction of grief is a very normal
one. It is even normal to feel like you are losing your grip on
reality, unable to focus on anything for any amount of time, irritable
or downright angry, like you are numb.
Let me give you one more morsel of advice to think
about. You should not think there is anything wrong with you if
you do not work through your grieving process quickly. Insofar
as I know, there is no "normal" length of time for grieving.
It takes some longer than others. The length of time one spends
on the grieving process is often influenced by such things as
culture, the support one gets from others, and one's own emotional
make up.
Grief is a normal part of a well-rounded life
because it reveals that we are a caring people or person. To grieve
is not a sign of weakness. It is an indication of being strong
enough to care very deeply. "Casting all your care upon him;
for he careth for you." (1 Peter 5:7)
May God richly bless those of you who grieve.
90 Waverly Cr., Martinsburg, WV 25401. wfkenney@adelphia.net