Genesis 34 opens with a story that would break
the heart of any parent. Jacob has made peace with Esau, bought
a parcel of land, and it seems as if all is well. Then tragedy
strikes. Dinah, the young daughter of Jacob and Leah, went
out to see the daughters of the land (34:1). Upon seeing her,
Shechem, son of the prince of the land, took her, and lay with
her, and defiled her (34: 2).
Most are agreed that the biblical narrative described
here is rape. Parents should not try to fool themselves into thinking
that a similar situation in their family is an impossibility,
but how less heartbreaking is it for the parents of a son who
commits such a vile act? Even if this was not rape but a consensual
act between two people, it was between two unmarried people and
that, too, is an abomination for it says she was defiled.
The record says that Dinah ... went
out. Dinah is perhaps only thirteen to fifteen years
old. It sounds as if she went out alone (Josephus says to a pagan
festival). She went out and associated with other young women
of the land, perhaps to explore their culture. A young girl would
be fascinated with the adornment and dance of a pagan society.
Did her parents allow this - not wanting to inhibit their daughter
and making her to appear different? Maybe Jacob and Leah thought
she would be safe saying, "It would never happen to us."
It could be the case that Dinah felt sheltered,
became rebellious, and snuck out to join the party to "sow
some wild oats." It might be that she wanted to be seen.
Some have argued that she encouraged Shechem. Maybe Jacob and
Leah thought, "My daughter would never do that" and
did not keep tabs on her whereabouts as they should have. Young
people are curious about the world around them. They see other
young people having worldly fun and often feel left out. Dinah
was no different, but we see that this had a most dreadful and
disturbing outcome. A young woman was raped.
Consider, too, the parents of Shechem. We are
only told of his father, Hamor. If Hamor was a single parent,
he had his hands full (as do all single parents). Shechem was
the son of a prominent man in the country. Perhaps he was used
to getting what he wanted. In this case, he wanted Dinah and he
took her (v.2). The fact that Shechem - or any child -
grew up under "special circumstances" does not excuse
the parental responsibility to bring up children in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4) nor does it allow for
lenience when they have committed such atrocities.
The defilement of Dinah was not the only dreadful
outcome of this unfortunate circumstance. Even when Shechem wanted
to "make things right," Dinah's brothers, Simeon and
Levi, plotted and lead an assault that killed the men of the country
- including Shechem and his father. Once again, Jacob was greatly
grieved: rape, deceit, and murder because one young woman went
out to experience the world.
Parents, we need to take some time and consider
the amount or lack of restraint we are using on our children.
When we allow our sons and daughters to attend unsupervised gatherings,
dances and proms, why are we surprised when something like this
happens?
Do our children have a specific set of rules to
go by so that they know what is expected of them in conduct, dress,
and curfew? Do we know whom our young people have as friends?
Do we know where they are going and what they are doing? There
is no magic formula for raising children, but there is some practical
information on the pages of the Bible. Discipline is often required.
Proverbs 23:13 - Withhold not correction from the child.
Proverbs 29:15 - The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child
left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. James tells
us we should pray for wisdom (1:5). As parents, we need wisdom
and patience. There is certainly no guarantee that something like
this will never happen to us, but, if we train up our children
with the Bible as the standard, it should certainly lessen the
likelihood. Our children need our attention as well as our trust.
However, we cannot blindly assume that they will never make wrong
choices or that nothing will ever happen to them if we just turn
them loose.
Don't forget about Dinah! -70 Gale Ave., Newport,
OH 45768.