For Ladies … Are You The Marrying Kind?

Lisa Pheasant

When my oldest daughter was five, she had picked out her first husband (He was four.). They were holding hands on their way to Bible class one Wednesday evening, and she boldly told him, “Now remember, when we grow up we are going to get married.” To which he responded, “Ok, I’ll think about falling in love with you when I grow up.” Many people commented on this conversation, and they suggested I talk to her about it. I thought, “She is only five, but I will.”

On the way home I thought I would ask her about it. I started the conversation with, “Why did you tell (so and so) not to forget that you two were getting married, and why did you pick him?” “Well,” she said, “He goes to church, and I go to church. Isn’t that good enough? Don’t you think he will make a good husband?” WELL, THAT WAS THE BIG QUESTION, WASN’T IT?

Instead of just blowing this off, I decided to use this as a way to teach my children what would make a good spouse. I thought it best to go to the Bible for the answers, even though both of my girls were too young even to think about boys. 1 Timothy 3:1-12 was a good place to start. We use these qualities for elders and deacons, but don’t you think they would also make great husband qualifications? (1) Desires good work, (2) good behavior, (3) not given to much wine, (4) not a striker, (5) patient. (Good luck with that one. Just kidding.) 

Ephesians 5:25 and 28 tell us how a husband should love his wife. Look at these scriptures and apply them to how a boyfriend, fiancé, and, eventually, a husband should be treating you. 

I also know it is my job as their mother to teach them how God wants them to be. What qualities will make them good Christian women? 1 Peter 3:1-7 teaches females how to be honorable and how to love their potential spouses. Colossians 3:18 tells the wife how to be submissive to her husband. THAT WILL BE THE ONE THE WORLD TRIES TO GET YOUR DAUGHTER TO IGNORE. 1 Timothy 3:11 teaches them how not to be slanderous, and to be FAITHFUL AT ALL TIMES.

Many of us teach our children basic Bible facts as they grow up, but I do feel it is very important to give our children this knowledge as well. Our children need to be taught that when the time comes to look for a mate, they must not go by the world’s standards, because these marriages end in divorce 50% of the time.

It is unlikely that my daughter will grow up and actually marry her “chosen one.” However, I do pray that her future husband is a strong Christian and has been taught these qualities as well. I also pray that, as her mother, I do my job and teach her God’s expectations of her as it applies to being a future girlfriend, fiancée, and wife.

May God be with us, as Christian parents, to help ensure that the divorce rate in the future is not higher because we have failed to train our children. –PO Box 942, Hedgesville, WV 25427.

Return to West Virginia Christian